Bullying

This topic is a Contemporary Issue identified in Chapter 2, 'Child Growth and Development', of Exploring Early Childhood. It describes bullying, explains who bullies and who is bullied, outlines the indications and effects of bullying, and discusses how bullying can be managed.

What is bullying?

Bullying can occur in many different places, including school, at home, at work or on the sporting field. The Mental Health Association NSW (2001) suggests that around 50 per cent of children are bullied at some time during their school life, and approximately 10 per cent are bullied on a regular basis. In 2000, Kids Helpline received almost 7000 calls about bullying, making it one of the top three concerns for children between the ages of 5 and 14. (Meerlinga Young Children's Foundation, 1999)

Bullying is a deliberate desire by one or a group of people to harass someone or another group. In a school situation it involves a student or students being intentionally victimised by others, and all bullying behaviour is considered antisocial. Bullying can take several forms, as indicated by Reach Out! (-a):

• Verbal bullying includes name-calling, put-downs, teasing and threats. It may be written in letters, emails or SMS, and can take the form of sexual harassment or innuendo.
• Physical bullying includes punching, hitting, kicking, tripping and pushing. It may involve sexual assault.
• Social bullying includes being excluded and ignored, and spreading rumours.
• Psychological bullying includes dirty looks, stalking, manipulation, intimidation and extortion.

Who bullies?

Whether individuals or a group, bullies have a positive attitude to violence. Boys tend to be more physically aggressive, whereas girls tend to bully by verbal means. According to Rohan and Richardson (-b) and Meerlinga Young Children's Foundation (1999), the common characteristics of bullies include:

• Low self-esteem: They think controlling others will make themselves feel better.
• Being a victim of violence themselves: They want to feel more powerful, have seen fighting at home or on television, or have been bullied in the past.
• Feeling isolated, singled-out, jealous, misunderstood, worried or frightened about something.
• Being self-centred: They enjoy winning, are concerned with their own pleasure and don't think about others, and are willing to use others to get what they want.

Who is bullied?

Usually children are bullied because the bully perceives them as being 'different' and vulnerable. (Rohan & Richardson, -) The differences may include:

• looking or being different in some way, related to gender, culture, sexuality, physical or mental ability, religion, body size, appearance, age or economic background
• reacting passively or fearfully
• being new to a school, country, sporting or social group
• being anxious and lacking confidence
• experiencing stress, either at home or school

What are the indications of bullying?

Some children will tell their parents or another adult that they are being bullied; however others will not as they are scared and intimidated and worry that 'dobbing' will only make the situation worse. (Rohan & Richardson, -b) There are many indications that a child may be being bullied, but NSW Health (2001) emphasise that care must be taken to talk to children first and avoid jumping to conclusions as these signs may be visible for a range of reasons. These include:

• unexplained bruises or cuts
• torn clothing or damaged belongings
• lost belongings or money
• refusal to go to school or finding excuses for not going to school
• regressive behaviour, such as bed-wetting and thumb-sucking
• mood changes and outbursts, such as irritability, aggressiveness and anxiety
• lack of interest in school and decline in school performance
• general unexplained unhappiness, tearfulness and vagueness
• avoiding talking about school
• having few friends and talking about having no friends

What are the effects of bullying?

Bullying can harm children in many different ways:

• It affects their ability to concentrate and learn. Some children may miss so much school that they fall behind and have difficulty catching up; others may hide their talents out of fear of being picked on or teased for achieving. (Reach Out!, -a)
• Some children feel isolated or alienated at school. This can have long-term consequences; for example, they can have difficulty forming and maintaining friendships in life. (Reach Out!, -a)
• It makes them feel bad and useless as they believe what others say or do. For example, if bullies say they are stupid or ugly, they may believe it despite the positive things that others may say to them. This can lead to a poor self-esteem and lack of confidence. (NSW Health, 2001)
• It can make children ashamed of, for example, themselves, their family, gender, culture and economic position. (Reach Out!, -a)
• Some children may develop depression and hurt themselves, even suicide. For instance, some people become anorexic because they feel it is the only part of their lives they can control. (Reach Out!, -a)

How can bullying be managed?

Bullying is a problem that needs to be dealt with by children, parents and the school together. Each has a role to play in eliminating this antisocial behaviour.

Children

The most important step for children to take is to tell someone they are being bullied. It will help them feel less worried and will be the best way to solve the problem. A 'telling plan' helps children to organise what they will do.

Who to tell?	When to tell?
friends	after school
parents	at bedtime or other quiet time
teacher	when teacher is alone
siblings
counsellor
ME

What to tell?	How to tell?
how often it happens	take a friend with you
who is involved	write a letter or email
what happens	write a poem
where it happens	do a drawing
how you feel about it	ask a friend or parent to tell for you

Reach Out! (-b) offers strategies for other children who know of someone who is being bullied include:

• Talk to them: Find out what is going on with them, remembering that they may be very sensitive and scared.
• Let them know you care: Help them to feel good about themselves and let them know you are a friend.
• Include them in your group: Make a special effort to spend time with them and boost their confidence
• Stick up for them. It may be helpful to defend them, but be careful not to make the situation worse or put yourself in danger
• Speak to someone: Talk to them about telling an adult together; let them know you will help them through the situation

Parents

Communication is vital in a parent-child relationship, nowhere more so than in managing bullying behaviour. There are several strategies that parents can use to help their child who is being bullied:

• Encourage open communication so that children are comfortable and confident about telling. Listen to what they say, take their fears seriously and make it clear that the child has your love and support. (Better Health Channel, 2001; NSW Health, 2001; Rohan & Richardson, -b)
• Make children feel safe and protected. Make it clear to children that bullying is wrong, take their feelings seriously and help them work out ways of managing it. Reassure them that bullying is not their fault and that something can be done about it. Let them know that bullying happens to lots of children and emphasise the good things in their lives. (Better Health Channel, 2001; Meerlinga Young Children's Foundation, 1999)
• Help your child develop communication and assertiveness skills to deal with bullying. Reassure the child that ignoring it or walking away is a strong course of action as the bully does not win-only if there is not threat of physical injury. Encourage your child to play and travel in a group and to use positive self-statements, such as 'It's okay to be different'. Help the child develop areas of strength in sport and other parts of their life as this will build their confidence and assertiveness. (Better Health Channel, 2001; Mental Health Association NSW, 2001; Rohan & Richardson, -b)
• Don't expect children to handle the situation alone, but don't try to deal with the problem entirely by yourself either. This may make the child feel even less in control. (Better Health Channel, 2001; Mental Health Association NSW, 2001)
• Communicate with the school. Let your child know you are contacting the school as the best way of solving the problem and making the child safe. Make an appointment to see the appropriate person, such as the classroom teacher, assistant principal, counsellor or year coordinator. Be calm, explain all the details about what has happened and how your child feels, and ask what you and the school can do together to help your child. Be clear about what the school will do and stay in contact until the problem is solved. If you find it difficult to go alone, take a friend with you when you visit the school. (Better Health Channel, 2001; NSW Health, 2001)

Parents of bullies can help to modify their child's behaviour by means of strong, consistent and swift intervention. Rohan and Richardson (-a) explain that bullies need to learn self-control and experience consistent and appropriate discipline. Parents should model the behaviour they want for their children, so the use of violence is not recommended as it may reinforce the bullying behaviour. Limit-setting is important as is letting the child know that bullying is wrong and unacceptable in any situation.

School

In most circumstances, parents and schools work together to eliminate bullying behaviour. An antibullying policy and a school philosophy of non-violence are important positive influences. Such a policy promotes a safety network to shut down aggressive behaviour and replace it with a positive attitude and regard for others.

The most successful antibullying policies are developed in consultation with the whole school community-teachers, parents, students and other interested parties in the local community. Information is gathered, knowledge and awareness are increased, and strategies for dealing with bullying that are suitable for the particular school environment are developed, implemented, monitored and evaluated. (Mental Health Association NSW, 2001; Rohan & Richardson, -b)

In addition to more traditional strategies, like increased monitoring and supervision in places where children group together, the use of the peer group is very significant in an effective antibullying policy. Peer support can help to create a safe environment, such as with a buddy system, where younger students are partnered by older students. A peer-mentoring scheme, where a child is befriended by another student who shares similar interests, allows children to talk about school and to support each other with problems, like bullying, and find solutions together. Peer mediation involves training children to look for cases of bullying in the playground and take steps to work out a solution. This is popular in high schools, and Rohan and Richardson (-b) report that primary schools are also implementing the program.

An important aspect of an effective antibullying policy is that rules and intervention do not model unacceptable behaviours, such as blaming or excluding students who bully. (Mental Health Association NSW, 2001) This means the disciplinary action taken with bullies is nonviolent.

An effective antibullying policy promotes a good school ethos, which in turn emphasises the significance of safety for everyone in the school community. When this ethos is strong and shared by all in the school community and the school policies and programs reflect the school's ethos, Rohan and Richardson (-a) conclude, incidents of bullying and other disruptive behaviours are greatly reduced.

References

Better Health Channel (2001), 'Bullying' http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Bullying?open (23 June 2004)

Meerlinga Young Children's Foundation (1999), 'Bullying: Everybody's business' http://www.kidshelp.com.au/ (14 July 2004)

Mental Health Association NSW (2001), 'Schoolyard bullying' http://www.mentalhealth.asn.au/resources/schoolyard_bullying.htm (20 June 2004)

NSW Health (2001), 'What parents should know about bullying' http://www.health.nsw.gov.au/ (20 June 2004)

Reach Out! (-a), 'Understanding bullying' http://www.reachout.com.au/print_article.asp?ti=319 (23 June 2004)

Reach Out! (-b), 'What to do if someone you know is being bullied' http://www.reachout.com.au/print_article.asp?ti=89 (23 June 2004)

Rohan, J. & Richardson, J. (-a) 'Understanding bullies and helping them change their behaviour' http://www.kidslife.com.au. (23 June 2004)

Rohan, J. & Richardson, J. (-b) 'What to do if your child is bullied' http://www.kidslife.com.au/article.asp?ContentID=what_to_do_if_your_child_is_bu (23 June 2004)